Should I retreat or bury myself?
I have to decide, considering Mayu too.
If I remain as 'boku', I need to keep my heart as it is.
Being with Mayu, a normal heart is maladaptive.
But if I want to be 'boku', I need to genuinely wake my heart.
It's rude to interact with others while remaining asleep, especially towards Mayu.
The time to make such a polarizing decision has been stretched to its limit.
Yet, as I reflect on this, I find myself in the hospital.
In a hospital setting, boredom is so abundant that it feels suffocating.
It's a place where you can think, think deeply, and reflect.
It's a blessing in disguise.
"...Blessing, huh."
Throughout the incidents where I ran, was deceived, and was saved, I managed to protect Mayu.
So, from now on, we'll build a happy family plan!
If I could think so simply, that alone would be happiness.
Am I happy now?
If so, there's no need for doubt.
But if I feel otherwise,
Is there new happiness for me?
Is there a speck of happiness behind the backdrop of misfortune?
"...I hope there is."
Even if I can't feel it, it's better to be in that space.
Whether it's the imitation 'boku' or the failed 'boku', neither loses its value.
Because there's no lie or truth in happiness.
At the time of writing this afterword, the main text is undergoing proofreading, and the illustrations are in the "invisible" phase. This means that this afterword is being written first. Yet, it quietly takes its place at the end, a humility worth emulating.
Hello, my name is Iruma Hito. From now on, please get to know me. As I write this, I wonder if living as a writer will provide valuable information? I decided not to think too deeply. Maintaining my confidence is a challenge in itself.
This book was written during my spring break in my first year of college. Inspired by the naive belief that "I can write in Japanese," I persisted. As a result, it was turned into a paperback. The approximately 20 megabytes of text I scattered during that period became not waste, but fertilizer. Looking back at the first thing I wrote, it was a bland short story about a peninsula living through a week.
This book was structured, and in the process of gaining weight, I learned how invaluable human assistance is.
Thank you to my editors, Mr. Koyama and Mr. Miki, for patiently dealing with this quirky fellow. It's cliché, but I look forward to our continued relationship.
To Hidari-sama, who adorned this book with beautiful illustrations. When I saw the illustrations online, I thought the book might sell better if it were all illustrations. But thinking about what would happen after suggesting that idea terrifies me, and I still haven't brought it up. From the distant past to the present day,
I'd like to extend my deepest thanks to those in charge of proofreading, who also provided invaluable annotations. Also, to friends and family who encouraged me with statements like, "I'll take half of your royalties," which sounded like something a villainous mastermind would say, I offer my heartfelt gratitude.
And lastly, to you, who feel the weight of this book, I express my utmost appreciation.
Thank you very much.
Iruma Hito (入間人間)