You just have to not admit to it, to anyone.
If unable to do so, you'll be punished, either publicly or out of personal spite.
Just like what happened exactly eight years ago.
Even though more than 70,000 hours have passed since then, the memories of that captivity remain vivid. There might be worse situations than that time, but I'll never feel more miserable in my life. Oh, how I wish I could fly to the ends of space to get rid of this trauma.
"Hey, hey."
Anzu called out to me like she would to a friend. Realizing that sending the trauma to the cosmos would be more logical, I turned to face her.
"Is it okay to leave that woman alone?"
She pointed to the base of my middle finger, which now only had a healed scar.
"It's not exactly okay."
There's the possibility that, out of frustration for not being heard, she might assault Teacher Kamijou. I had this fear when pressing the elevator button. Teacher Kamijou might be a terrible teacher who turns a blind eye to students' futures and bullying issues, but if she became a victim of assault, she would surely cry out. That's just the kind of person she is. But one or two punches might be legally permissible, at least in my delusion. It's just how annoying some adults can be.
"But it should be fine, to some extent."
As long as she's recognized as mentally ill, that fact can be used as a weapon. I'm prepared to be hospitalized, but if someone is there to stop Mayu, she might manage even if she can't live on her own.
Anzu raised her index finger, "Also, one more thing."
"Oh, a little detective flavor?"
Despite my teasing, Anzu, with a puzzled look, asked,
"Where were you last night?"
I felt a pressure from inside my eyes, as if my vision was briefly shrouded in thick fog.
"Also, Kouta said you went out a few days ago too."
Stiffly, like an old surveillance camera, I shook my head. Kouta frowned, seemingly confused.
"Ah, just went to the nearby convenience store."
To the convenience store with a fan running to keep bugs away, a thirty-minute trip one way.
"I was buying a late-night bento to eat at the convenience store. I'm growing, so I eat about once every thirty minutes."
To further deflect, I improvised a story on the spot.
"People say that the one called an idiot is an idiot. Let's assume that's correct. But that doesn't prove that the person called an idiot isn't an idiot. So basically, an idiot being called an idiot by another idiot creates an idiotic situation."
I managed to finish the nonsensical rant about idiocy without biting my tongue. The two of them gave me even more skeptical looks, their eyes round with disbelief. What am I doing, making myself look even more suspicious? "... I need to prepare for the trip."
I hastily tried to stand up, but Anzu lunged forward and grabbed the hem of my uniform.
"Suspicious," she said with a mischievous grin. Her smile, fitting for her age, reminded me of Mayu.
"I'm not suspicious at all. Nor am I eerie. You see, I'm the friend of the clubmate of the classmate of the grandson of the chairman of the neighborhood association. I've been patrolling every night to track down a murderer. I'm not lying."
"... Your lies are so obvious."
Watching Anzu, one half of the kidnappers, teasing me was Kouta with a near-smiling expression from behind his long hair. Does he not even remotely consider that I might do something harmful to his precious sister? The toxic feeling that had settled in my heart seemed to dissipate.
Unwavering trust feels like sunburnt skin—it's agonizing.
"Hey, what's your name?"
Anzu asked, with a curiosity that seemed entirely genuine.
"Mine?"
"Who else is here?"
"Who else might there be..."
I half-hoped that a parasite inside me might pop out and say, "Let me introduce myself," or something. But no such luck.
"You only have to say your name, what's taking so long?"
Anzu urged me on as I hesitated. I didn't want to get punched, so I decided to be honest.
"I don't really like my name. It doesn't suit me, and I feel embarrassed both saying it and hearing it. So I don't really want to tell you, sorry."
I put my palm on my hair, which had become somewhat less sticky from washing. Kouta called out, "Anzu," to which she replied, "I get it," sounding slightly annoyed. "It's not like I really wanted to know anyway." I was grateful she backed off without any lingering attachment.
I took a deep breath, leaned back, and looked up at the ceiling.
"... I need to pull out my travel bag and start packing."
Speaking of which, what should I do with these kids during the trip? Should I remove their shackles? As long as I stock up on food and advise them not to answer the door, they should be fine... Wait, hold on. Have I already accepted this situation? Is this okay?
It feels like this is no longer a kidnapping, but rather a homestay.
"....Hmm."
Everything is deviating from my expectations.
And that, in its own way, is kind of fun.
About thirty minutes later, the sounds of the landlord returning echoed throughout. Just as I was deeply contemplating profound philosophy, while playfully tugging at Anzu's cheek.
The footsteps, so heavy they seemed as if they'd break through the floor, approached from behind.
"Welcome back, Ma-yan."
Turning around, I noticed Mayu wasn't smiling, not even a bit.
Without puffing up her cheeks like a child, her face was as stoic as when she slept.
Before I knew it, Mayu's cheerful voice ceased to echo in the room, and she grabbed the back of my neck, pulling me along with Anzu, who was still holding onto my cheek. Caught off guard, I hit my head on the door frame.
Adding to that, Anzu also collapsed onto me, her elbow digging into my solar plexus, forcing the air out of my lungs.
"Ah, are you okay?"
Anzu let go of my cheek and looked concerned. I tried to give her a thumbs up to show I was okay, but accidentally raised my index finger instead, inadvertently conveying that I was not okay at all. Reluctantly, I verbally assured her, "I'm okay." "Ugh, I can walk by myself, let go!"
My joking plea was ignored, and I was dragged inside. I hit my buttocks on a step and my elbow on a sliding door. Just as I was leaving the room, I exchanged a look with Anzu, who seemed oddly reluctant to part. But I had no words to say to her.
I was released near the living room table. Straightening my collar, I made the sulking Mayu sit.
"Why are you mad?"
I pretended not to understand, even though I did. Mayu's response was:
"Why don't you understand what's wrong?"
She threw her bag as soon as she finished speaking. Her shoes precisely hit a shelf where a phone handset was placed. The impact knocked off a glass spherical ornament next to it, which fell and broke into pieces.
"Well, the groupings for the school trip were decided a month ago."
I confronted the infuriated Mayu.
"You didn't hit the teacher, did you?"
"A month... If only you had come to me earlier, Mii-kun!"
Ignoring my question, she vented her irrational anger.
...I didn't feel like arguing back.
"I'm sorry," I lowered my head. My head, which is only good for thinking, nodding, bumping, and eating. It's best to use it whenever I can. Not that Mayu would be convinced by such a gesture.
But continuing this fruitless discussion was depressing, so I awkwardly tried to change the subject.
"I'm going out tomorrow."
"I'm coming too."
She decided to accompany me without asking for the reason, the place, or the purpose.
What value does such behavior hold?
"It's a place I have to go alone. I can't take you, Ma-chan."
Her sharp gaze pierced through me, but taking Mayu was impossible. I can't be completely open about my plans; it's not feasible for our peaceful daily life. Telling her I'm meeting someone from the police would only cause her anxiety. And if she found out I'm having a rendezvous with an older woman, I'd be dead on the spot.
"I'm going back to my uncle's house once. It's a promise for us to live together. I'll be back by night."
That was a lie.