It seemed like I should return. Not because I wanted to settle back in that other world, but at least to update those who worried about me... Should I make excuses for that? Time flows similarly in both worlds, so quite some time must have passed over there too...
Just as people in my real world suffered because of my absence, those in the other world who cared about me might be worrying as I've been gone so long. But honestly, I'm not even sure of the exact reasons myself. While my goal was to return to my original world, the thought of going back to the other world makes me want to resist.
But I can't completely let go of my attachment either. It's a paradoxical feeling that I find hard to express. I both affirm and deny the desire to return to the world of the game. If I had to justify the affirmation, I could firmly say it’s because I care about them – Arsia, Aris, Marika, Ruseia, Elina, Miru, Morione, Abne, and especially... Eleona.
There are many relationships, too many to call few but not too few to call many. Surely, too many to just leave suddenly. However, if I ask myself why I negate it, all I find is an emptiness in my mind. There's no reason to deny it, but for some reason, I want to resist.
Digging deep within myself, I find a lurking thought... Maybe I want the world with them more than the real world? Despite her twisted madness, Eleona genuinely wanted me. Just this fleeting speculation makes me feel uneasy. Is it because affirming their world would negate all the efforts I made towards returning to my original world, my identity, and my sole purpose?
Probably not, right? After all, they may want me, but I have always found their feelings burdensome... It's probably not that, surely. It must be simply because I want to inform them about my situation...
Anyway, getting back to the main point... I wanted to return to that world. However, several problems overlap. Things that happened after I left reality, the significant impact of my absence in the real world. Honestly, this time, it was thanks to my sister's hard work that nothing major happened. Despite needing care herself, she took on everything to fill my void.
She took care of her own tuition and living expenses and even made excuses for my absence, claiming I was on a business trip abroad. In reality, she was covering for me, even providing the financial support I should have given. As a student, not a working adult like me, she had to sacrifice her sleep to work part-time jobs to gather the money. How hard must she have worked... I can't even imagine the extent of her struggles.
That's why, even though I said I wanted to go back, I planned to make it a very short visit. As I mentioned earlier, my reason for going was strictly to update them about my situation; there was no need to stay long. I knew if I left reality for too long again, my sister would suffer.
But even with all this reasoning, there was one fatal problem: I didn't know how to return to that world. To be precise, I had no idea how to find a way back on my own... But there was one possibility, the person who brought me to this world...
She might know... The one who had changed even reality itself to trap me here...
"What...?"
Now alone with her, on the rooftop of a building where the cool breeze blows in this open space.
"You want to go back? You think I would allow that?" she cuts me off sharply with a cold voice, the ancient dragon now in human form.
"Would any jailer release their prisoner? Did you really think being serious and polite would work?" Of course, it was no surprise, but she precisely targets the annoying aspect and rebels against me. Understandably, I found myself speechless against such simple logic. "I just want to pass on a message, a brief encounter would suffice."
"Do you think they will miss that brief moment?" She blocks every attempt I make to justify my desire to return.
With a sigh, Miru seems frustrated with me. "What lingering attachment makes you want to go back?"
Each of her questions was indisputably logical and left me unable to retort. "Haven’t you been living all this time wanting to return? I granted your wish, brought you to this world as you and I desired. What's left there for you to miss?"
I fell silent at her words, acknowledging their truth.
"Here you are, living well in this world, employed at a major corporation everyone dreams of joining. Isn't this the perfect life for Harold?"
Her understanding of my situation was so accurate, it felt as if she could read my mind, making me feel like a small cog in a vast machine, perfectly content with this life.
"Just forget about it... I’ve created everything for you, right? Or are you now too lazy to work? Then quit! With the wealth I have, I can easily support your family and more!"
She seemed to be trying to cut off my desire to return, trying to find some other reason for my behavior.
"No, it's not that..." I nodded, trying to calm her growing agitation. "I belong to you, right? I won't stay there long. If it makes you feel uneasy, you can be with me for the final goodbye. I just want to briefly say farewell to those who genuinely care about me... Can't you allow that?"
I pleaded solemnly and earnestly. Despite her previous threats of 'Do you want to get fired?' that had left me powerless, she now seemed to be offering a better deal to keep me. From a certain point, the situation seemed to have reversed... Now, it felt like Miru was the one trying to persuade me. After a brief moment and a sigh, she finally gives in reluctantly. "Can't help it... If you insist that much..."
Somehow, I managed to persuade Miru! Initially, I thought it was a foolish and hopeless attempt, but it actually worked!
"Really?!" I asked, raising my voice in excitement.
"But on one condition! You must only say goodbye and then return without any resistance, accepting this reality as a condition for me taking you back."
I was satisfied with this outcome. "Of course, just let me say my farewells."
I accepted her proposal with a nod.
But then, what's the issue now? Even I couldn't discern my true feelings, feeling uncomfortable with this reality. It was as if my reason for wanting to return wasn't just for a brief meeting...
A fleeting reunion with them, but then an eternal farewell. The thought left me feeling hollow. Wasn't my desire to return just for a brief encounter to ease their worries?
Yet, with each passing moment, a growing heaviness in my heart seemed to answer my internal query. A lingering thought crossed my mind - perhaps I truly missed them...
I shook my head desperately, denying the thought. But deep inside, there was a sense of comfort in that idea. No, it couldn't be...
I couldn't possibly have feelings for them... No, that's not it.
"Thanks, Miru... That's enough for me." I showed her a content expression while internally struggling with my tumultuous feelings.
I said I would only go briefly, but I should probably inform my family, just in case.
"Brother? What brings you here today?" My sister greeted me with her usual bright demeanor, unchanged and ever-present. "Come in!" Yura invites me inside with a smile. Usually, we'd sit back and chat leisurely, but today was different.
"Yura... I might need to go back to that other world I mentioned before, just for a short while."
"What...?" Her voice, filled with dismay, changes the entire atmosphere.
"Yura...?"
I had anticipated some reaction, but her intense response left me feeling surprisingly unsettled.
"Brother, what are you talking about?"
The mood didn't just drop; it darkened, and a tangible weight seemed to press down on the air.
"You're leaving again?"
She focused solely on the fact that I was leaving, completely overlooking my mention of it being a brief visit.
"Again... You're leaving again? Leaving me all alone?"
This was the first time I had ever seen Yura like this. She had always been so cheerful, displaying a positive attitude no matter the issue, but now...
"Just for a moment, Yura... I just need a little -"
Thud! Before I could finish, a shock ran through my body, throwing me backward. My vision spun wildly.
"Don't go..."
When I came to, I saw Yura's tears - something I had never seen before.
"Why... Why are you leaving again...? I've been forcing myself to smile through the pain, but I can't do it anymore..."
With an ominous air and relentless tears streaming down her face, she clung to me with all her might, as if vowing never to let go.